Parenthood and software engineering share at least a couple of similarities. Most software engineers can relate to the experience of a project that seemingly has no end, with problems for which you cannot see the solution at the outset but which you nevertheless must solve. But when you are a new parent it is suddenly like you have two jobs with twice the demands. You cannot shortchange your child with regards to time, effort or inspiration and neither can you simply phone it in at work. Putting in the minimum effort is not why anyone sane gets into the business of writing software — we want to produce high-tech, shiny, cutting edge, cool stuff.
So therein lies the challenge: how does one keep the edges sharp when you’re sleep-deprived, juggling seriously conflicting priorities and pressed for time on all sides? I’m facing this situation now, but I don’t have an easy answer. I can only offer my guesses.
Time Management
One part of the solution is obviously time management. Maybe your time management practices are already ninja-level, but I’ve found that I need to tighten up my time management practices as much as possible, because I can no longer rely on burning the midnight oil to get me through difficult spots. That means automating as much as can be automated. It means allocating small, scheduled windows for distractions like reading random tech news on the Internet. It also means really prioritizing work and banging tasks out like a waiter in a restaurant — knowing what can be kept waiting briefly and what must be done NOW. There are all sorts of time management philosophies one can follow and tools you can use, but probably the most important thing to do is pick some method that works for you, and use it.
Cooperation
Improving your time management practices should help with handling the current set of tasks, but holding a line in the sand is never good enough with software. You must stay on top of emerging technologies, improve your skill set, experiment with different techniques, etc. In software engineering, as in many endeavors, to stand still is to become a fossil. Naturally, having a child puts your woodshedding discipline to a serious test.
If you’re lucky, the child will be a consistent sleeper and you can sneak in an hour here or there at night to get things done. You should exploit those opportunities when you can, but ultimately, you’re going to need the cooperation of your partner to make sure that you can get a chunk of time on some sort of semi-regular basis to do your extra-curricular coding. Undoubtedly you’ll need to reciprocate in kind. It is well worth it to work something out, because though one can get some things done in fits and starts, there’s no substitute for a several hour chunk of time when it comes to writing software and you’re not going to get that time without help.
Elbow Grease
The third point that I think is important is: have an extra-curricular project to work on. The main reason for this is that you need some focal point for your woodshedding efforts. You WILL have weeks when you get nothing done, when you have to put aside any extracurricular learning and development, and having a project will help you pick up the pieces when you regain some time. After all, you are a finisher by nature and you don’t like to leave projects undone (right?), so your instincts in that regard should help you follow through.
The project might revolve around some new technology you’re interested in, or a new problem domain you want to explore, or just an itch (a la Eric Raymond) that you need to scratch. Taking some training course that you can get your employer to foot the bill for is not a bad idea either. Pick something very manageable, because inevitably it will become a bigger deal than you think, and what you need now is a confidence builder, not a Herculean challenge.
The Blind Leading the Blind
So there you have it, those are my “secrets” to success. Quite obviously I’m new at this game. Perhaps I am naive and overly optimistic to think that I or anyone else can keep up the pace, but as the saying goes, shoot for the moon and maybe you’ll end up on a cloud.
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